Have You Ever?

I wonder sometimes if my admission into this program is really all that much of an acheivement. Sometimes when I consider the adaptive skills of some of the people I see around me, I loose faith that the process by which we were admitted had anything to do with intelligence, acheivement, likelyhood of success, or indeed basic hygeine.

There is a "person I know" who doesn't seem to believe in showering. So much to the point that I am starting to suspect that they are the Wicked Witch of the West in disguise. They always smell BAD... Bad like the B.O. of a week old corpse bad. With just a hint of some sickningly sweetish musky perfume. OMG, have they been Febreezing themselves instead of washing? How can I get a skin swab without them noticing? I have to know...

And there is another person who so seriously gives the impression of an IQ so low that they'd have to stand on a chair to raise it. I'm not just talking about being slow... I'm not talking about the silly mistakes we all make because we are nervous, or tired, or HUMAN. It's not just that they aren't the "sharpest knife in the drawer." It's more that they are an EGG in the KNIVE DRAWER. And you open up the knife drawer, looking for a knife and you're like, OMG, who put this egg in the knife drawer. And you have to call your mom and your friends because you just need to tell someone about how absurd their stupidity is.

This person has:

asked me if a banana peel is bio-degradable
got into an elevator and waited a full 3 minutes before pressing the button because they hadn't noticed it wasn't moving yet
inquired if there was meat in the peperoni pizza
freaked out about the possibility of sushi style "dragon rolls" being made of real dragon
wanted to know what "closed captioning" was (Their excuse? "I don't watch a lot of TV." Me: "Yeah, but you are aware of an invention called TV, right? And that on this invention called TV that they have things called shows? And you are aware that there is a population of deaf people in society, right?)

I should also mention that upon doing any of these or other borderline brain-injury induced behaviour, that this individual will say something like, "Hee hee hee! I'm SO STUPID!" Then giggle obliviously that they are making themselves sound even more stupid with every second.

How did this person get into a highly competetive program in clinical psychology? How do they manage to STAY in a highly competetive program in clinical psychology? For that matter, how do they manage not to fall out of windows without child locks on them? Or not choke on their tongue in their sleep? Or not mistake their car's exhaust pipe for the straw in their Diet Coke?

OMG... and why do I always seem to draw these people as project partners, office mates, or accept rides home from them? Okay, clearly that's ME being stupid. No matter what the cold Canadian lousy SMarch weather brings, I wouldn't ride with a drunk driver, so I shouldn't ride with a clearly stupid-person driver either, right? Imagine the PSA for that one:

The pirate on the pack of zig-zags takes off his bandana and replaces it with a mortorboard and says: "Don't do it please! I'm begging you. YOU are stupid. WAAAAAAY too stupid!" Followed by a shot of the same confused/dazed look on the stupid person's face as was seen on the blitzed teenager.

Ahhhhh.... so much less angry now. Thank you, dear reader.
Psyche.