"Dr. House" Was The Nicest Nickname I Could Think Of

Assholery, the likes of which is usually reserved for the operating rooms of brain surgeons or mob-movie characters played by Joe Pesci. Di-ick. That is my new practicum supervisor. Brilliant, excellent at what he does, feared by his peers and tolerated by his underlings... and regardless of how talented he is, absolutely NO ONE likes him.

He picks on people. There is one young lady on our student team, a really excellent neuropsychologist-to-be who ended up in our program (even though she didn't want to be) due to lack of placements for neuropsych students at our level in this city. She is a very young and shy person who defers to authority. She is highly anxious as she is not in her element. And every morning at our team meeting, Dr. House picks on her over and over again. He likes to begin team meetings by circulating stories from the tree newspapers he reads every day and commenting on them. One story last week had something to do with "California State University at Berkley." He says to Ms. Shy, "So, Ms. Shy, what state is California State University in?" Ms. Shy doesn't know how to respond... "Uh, what to you mean, what state is it in?" He just keeps repeating his question. She is visibly panicked and uncomfortable. She heard the question, but thinks that he must be trying to trick her. After 5 rounds of this, he switches to a caustic tone and asks another student. "It's in California." Uh-huh. Ms. Shy turns seven shades of red. He directs his next stoopid-gotcha question at her. Great, Dr. House. We're all really impressed that you know how to make nervous-and-very-talented young women nearly cry. [slow sarcastic clapping] We're all really impressed. BRA-VO.

He's done a few things that have got under my skin since we started on Sept. 6th. He's made bets on how far into an interview it would be before a mother started crying. He's made fun of the cities that clients are from. He's made rude remarks about Jehova's Witnesses. He's interrupted people and walked away from them while they were talking to him and in mid-sentence. He has suggested to me personally that I would be given more leeway than younger students and that I would not have to take 5pm clients because I was "over 30 and have a life." My response? "Well, thanks for being unfair in my favour, I guess." He holds court. Fine, but I already have a theatre degree.

But the other day, he became very angry with me because I adhered to a professional standard. Basically, if you were to read ever single book on therapy in the world, and talk to every therapist in the world, you wouldn't find a single one that says that it is a good idea to extend the therapy hour when a client is late. This is important for several reasons. 1. It's important to have boundaries with clients and to establish them early on (especially if you are a new therapist... like me). 2. Extending the therapy hour sends a message to the client that it is okay to be late and that the therapy is not important. 3. Extending the therapy hour has more to do with the therapist's feelings of discomfort and wanting to be seen as a "nice guy" than having the client's best interests at heart. 4. Helping the client to contain their anxiety/anger and make the best of the session is clinically more useful and ultimately more respectful of the client. BUT regardless of all these reasons and more, Dr. House insisted that I "should have known better." Really? Exactly how should I have known that you flout a clinically and theoretically important convention that is adhered to by 100% of therapist excluding you? And how was I to have known that exactly? Was it in one of the many administrative training manuals that you neglected to give me?

On top of this, Dr. House insisted that I had been "poisoned" by the professors at my University (which he added - "only work 6 months a year" and "don't care about anybody") and he declared that he needed to "turn you back into the human being I know you are."

Uh, hold the phone. Are you, Dr. House, giving me a lesson in compassionate humanity? Because if you are, we need to call those three newspapers that you read every day and message all the activist Internet sites that refer to you as a callous-jackass-lacking-in-empathy. Clearly they were wrong and the media should be alerted.

So he asked me to call the client and APOLOGIZE and offer her a more convenient and longer therapy session next week. I told him that I would be happy to offer the new appointment but that I would not apologize. I don't think I've done anything wrong and I'm not sorry. So appologizing would be lying to the client (something else that is contraindicated in therapy, go figure) and I don't beleive it would be helpful. The client ended up telling me on the phone that they couldn't have stayed even if I did offer a long time, and they refused the new time and the extended appointment. Dr. House says that I am "off the hook for now." Mm-hmm. Off the hook. Thank you, oh grand exalted master...

Ah, the humiliating world of graduate work. Anyone want to take bets as to how long into the school year before he swears at me?