Packed in Like Animals

I had the particularly sweet experience the other day of taking transit back and forth TWICE to my school. Now, most people would agree with me that under normal circumstances, that would be a bitter experience akin to having a mouthful of lemon rinds and razorblades. But, it was Rosh Hashanah, and classes were cancelled, so the buses were like little moblie ghost towns. I had not only no waiting time, but also my choice of seats. I don't think I've sat on a bus on the way to or from school yet this year. But I got to park my posterior on all four trips!



In was on these relaxing, room-to-breathe trips that I was able to give some thought to how commuting affects us in a multicultural city.



We've long known from animal studies that a lack of space decreases an animal's ability to socialize in a positive way. Doesn't matter if they are mice, rats, cats, dogs, tarantulas, or monkeys. If you stick too many animals in the same habitat, they get on each other's nerves, become more territorial than they were previously, fight more, and attack each other under circumstances which would not be considered provoking if they had more personal space. Okay, you see what I'm saying? Pack in animals too tight and they will tear each other to shreds.



As I basked in my abundant personal space, I got to thinking about the state of affairs on this bus route during rush hours. I have counted over 70 people on a bus, after having waited for 4 or 5 buses to go by before I could cram myself on one. Because the bus is an express route to the school, most people have a backpack, large purse, or one of those little laptop wheely-suitcases. That's a lot of luggage. Most people don't figure out how to handle their luggage in a crowded space, meaning that it's par for the course to get smacked in the face with a backpack someone refuses to take off, or squared by a wildly gesturing waterbottle. People have their mp3 players turned up to 11. First year arts students are having loud, pretentious discussions about how they just discovered Sartre. Graduate students arle having loud, pretentious discussions about how they hate Sartre. Someone is chewing their gum with their mouth open and EVERYONE is taking on the cellphones.



People become pretty freakin territorial over their allotted space. You see all kinds of weird territorial, animalistic things going on in that bus. The driver stops short. Someone uses the momentum to give someone else a little shove. Elbows get jammed, dirty looks get shot, invectives get muttered...



I haven't actually SEEN any punchings. But I've certainly been witness to more than a few altercations and a wide smattering of racial epiteths.



It's curious. I wonder if being crammed in too tight makes us more racist? Or at least more likely to engage is racist thinking or speech? Why is it that when we perceive a slight (because hey, this is YOUR bus, and that's YOUR seat - you OWN it and that insert-racial-slur-here ought to know that) we start picking apart everything that is different between that person and ourselves? I mean, why do we have to qualify what kind of asshole they are? Why can't they just be a generic asshole for not waiting in an orderly line the way we were taught to in our good and decent community where we were brought up? And keep in mind, that community of origin thing seems to hold regardless of what communit it is or how divergent it is from what is expected due to one's skin colour, clothes, or gender.

Or maybe I should be pleased and proud of my academic bretheren for keeping themselves together as well as they have been? The fact that I've been commuting to this school for 6 years already and have never seen anything come to blows might speak well for our difference from the animals. We might bear our teeth, but I've never seen blood. But still, I'm left wondering... where does all this extra tension go since we're not discharging it on the bus? Since we're all just sort of teetering under this passive-aggressive or completely repressed aggression? Humans are animals too, and it's pretty natural that we want to lash out when someone hurts us, perceived slight or real.

Which brings me to my final point. I may not have seen too many overt confrontations. But I've seen a lot of evidence of anxiety and panic attacks on these buses. Oh, and grumpy drivers, I've seen that too. Could it be that unlike some caged animals, we are internalizing our aggression and it's bubbling to the surface as a sort of polite, almost Victorian fainting spell? Do we have our figurative corsets on too tight? Would it do some of us some good to tell someone else off?

Sigh... I could go on forever about this.

So what do I want from you, dear reader? How about you dare to be honest with me? I promise not to give you away. Have you found yourself uttering (in your mind or out loud) an inappropriate comment based on race, ethnicity, gender, age or priveledge when in a too-crowded space? How did you justify it at the time? Did you feel guilty about it afterwards? And are you afraid, like me, that once you get old and senile, that you'll start saying this stuff out loud and the workers in the nursing home will start giving you the smackdown?

And were they right on Avenue Q? Is everyone a little bit racist? And should we all try to acknowledge and deal with it more openly?