It's no secret that in order to be an emotionally healthy therapist, one needs to develop the ability for "professional distance." Basically, you have to get a thick skin, otherwise your natural ability to empathize is going to put you at grave risk for developing vicarious trauma. To a certain extent, vicarious trauma is expected. It's an occupational hazard. We all expect it, that and compassion fatigue (a similar but separate problem). But you are never truly prepared for it. And rarely do you even realize what it is until a colleague points it out. Some people who are incredibly self-aware pick up on the fact that they are "not themselves."
Imagine being a body builder and going in to the gym one day to realize that you are actually able to lift less and less than you could before. Baffling... after all, doesn't practise make something easier?
Apparently not when it involves empathy.
I'm not sure if we have empathy stores that dwindle and need to be replenished. Maybe empathy has a reciprocity matrix and the amount of abuse we tolerate from clients takes it's toll on us? Like, "Why can't someone be here for me the way I'm here for THEM? Ungrateful little so and sos..." In some cases where therapy is just not successful, it could be that there is an element of learned helplessness at play. Or maybe the mirror neurons just habituate so much that nothing can make them fire anymore?
I don't know exactly.
But I do know what vicarious trauma (and first hand trauma, for that matter) and compassion fatigue FEEL like. I know that as I enter the end stretch at the old org here, that I'm pretty damn short in the empathy department. And very thankful for my background in performance. I know that I can adhere to the old adage that "The Show Must Go On." I can put aside my discomfort, sadness, fatigue, even rage-filled hatred for the benefit of a client. As long as I know the end is in site.
And it is.
But.
This is not something I particularly care to carry forward with me as I approach the heavy workload of grad skule. Psyche must heal herself before the next challenge starts. I've got to build up some hit points after that last orc attack!
So here is my question, for anyone reading:
What rejuvenates you? What can you suggest that might rejuvenate Psyche?
Let's hear your suggestions, from the divinely inspired to the poorly-thought-out schemes. I eagerly await your descriptions of "self-care."
November, 1999 (Oh, What A Night)
4 years ago
4 comments:
Off topic: I LOVE the phrase "Vicarious trauma"
What rejuvinates me:
Having a Saturday to myself, reading the paper from cover to cover and drinking coffee, then helping "someone" with the crosswords.
Taking my special notebook, and having a good colouring/drawing session, with stickers.
walking down to the local cafe by myself and having a LOOOONG coffee/tea
listening to music while writing whatever i feel like
these are the things that rejuvinate me the best.
Niz
...going for a walk in an unfamiliar but pleasant place with no preset destination or agenda or timeframe. Serendipitous freeform exploring.
...physical exercise. The empathy circuits may not respond well to being rigourously exercised, but the body does. And it cleans out the poisons that drag us down physically and tend to make us MORE burned out. Also seems very catharticly-good at breaking down the mind/body split that develops during periods where "disassociative" thinking is required. (Translation: if you want to get your own emotions back, try making your heart race faster.)
...spending the day alone with a good book.
...really good movies or DVD collections, ideally watched with good friends/love ones, where commenting out loud is allowed.
...hugs. Always.
OK, I'm a bit behind in reading my emails and just now saw the link to your new blog. I hope everything's going well in the new venture!
I suck at self-care, in general--I tend to gravitate toward self-harm, in fact, though not of any serious type, just the usual writerly boozing. Physical exercise works well for me but it can't be too relaxing or I start to feel antsy. The solution for me has been boxing; or a hard pounding run. Something with a lot of impact, that leaves me totally wrung out at the end. Ah.
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