Through all the loss and grief and just stupid grad-school shit I dealt with over the course of 2012, my best friend was there. I don't get to see her nearly one-tenth as much as I would like because we live in different geographical locations. But whenever we talk, it is as if time stood still to wait for us to catch up to each other's place in time. She is a stable, steadfast source of consistency and care in my life. A treasure. A heaven-sent fucking piece of pure everything-that-is-good-about-humanity. And right now she is sick. Really, really, REALLY fucking sick and in pain and despair and waiting in our socialized medicine system for care that she desperately needs 12 months ago.
When I think about what she is going through, what she is coping with, I am humbled. She faces this demon with such honesty and humanity. Grace even in her dark times.
So listen to me, 2012. I've had enough of you jerking me around. You've messed with me at school, at practicum, you've messed with my body and my family, my relationships and my head. Well, guess what? We're done. Hands off of her.
She's fucking awesome, so deal, bitches.
I know too much about math in general, and statistics specifically, to buy into "bad luck." I'm just sayin'...
This woman has stood by me, gone out of her way to help and comfort me despite being in such a rough way herself. Perspective.
November, 1999 (Oh, What A Night)
5 years ago
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How can I ever begin to thank you for being such a wonderful person?
The person that I am, I could not have become without you. You may not be my flesh and blood, but you are my soul and heart, which is more intimate and more loving than I've ever known.
This year, this 2012 has been a hell fueled year for us both. Between the cruelty of others raining down on us, or the stresses of life, or our bodies betraying us, we have stood strong against it all, because we have another like ourselves to take strength from, or talk through with.
2012 shall NOT best us, because we have each other.
*now that i've finished this, I shall go become a snuffling mess in the corner, awed by the sweet message you wrote of me*
Nizzie
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