The Interpretation of Grad Student Dreams

[Exterior. Morning. Psyche waits with her packpack by the side of the road. It's raining.]



[A car pulls up beside Psyche and she gets in, glad to be out of the rain.]



[Interior car. Psyche looks across at the wise and gentle face of her thesis supervisor, framed by granny glasses and soft white hair done up in a bun.]



Psyche: Good morning Dr. Supervisor! Thanks so much for picking me...



[Close up. Dr. Supervisor's hair falls out of the bun and loosens into a nest of maggoty snakes. Fires comes out of her eyesockets and melts part of her face and she turns towards Psyche.]



[The sound of the car doors locking can be heard with a thunderous echo.]



Dr. Supervisor: How dare you. I've had enough of your words and behaviour you stupid BITCH! Who do you think you are to say something like that about me to a prospective student?! I'm going to KI--



Psyche: (Calmly, without missing a beat.) It was no dare. I have every right to my opinion and to speak what I believe is the truth. We have a confidential process for prospective students to ask questions for a reason. I was polite and professional but honest. Why are you pumping the poor thing for confidential information anyway?



... and then I woke up.



... and alsmost peed my bed.



I'm having anxiety dreams about power stuggles, that's for sure. It doesn't take a narcissistic man with a cigar to tell you that the power dymanic in academic relationships is making me a *teensy* bit antsy these days. Hey, at least in the dream I was able to stand up for myself. In the goings on the led up to the dream (which is in no way a refection of literal reality), I was led to tears by something that could have been easily resolved with a few words months prior. Sigh... I would love to tell you about it all. But I am still slightly cognizant of the fact that no matter how anonymous one tries to be on the Internet, there is also a chance of having one's cover blown. If you know me, feel free to email and I'll go over it, but I've probably already made your ears bleed about it.



Yeah, it really amazes me how people in such authority, who actually STUDY things like authority and relationships and developmental processes and therapy, can be so totally blind to their own power dynamics. Or rather, perhaps, are VERY aware of them and play dumb. There should be a prep course in grad school entitled "How to deal with the bizzare and at times harrassingly illegal things that some prof is going to put you through in the next 7-10 years of your life: A primer on getting shit done while keeping the person you know as you alive." Maybe I'll propose one someday while I'm applying for tenure.



Okay okay okay... basically... there is a prof that I work with who makes VERY inappropriate comments during class, before class and after class. Things like, "Oh, Psyche, a student is going to approach you with a note from the disabilities centre regarding the midterm. Yeah, Mr. Firstname Lastname, you'll recognize him, he's REALLY GOOD LOOKING tall guy, really smart. He doesn't need to be accomodated for his MENTAL HEALTH ISSUE I'M SURE HE'D LIKE TO KEEP PRIVATE. He can write the exam with everyone else, so don't accomodate him. That's what these *disabilities* people do. They're just kids working in that office, they have no idea, and he's just manipulating them to get extra time." Yeah, this prof says stuff like that in full earshot of other students. Also, if a student comes in late, he stops the lecture and says that this is an excellent example of a person with a high IQ but "very low emotional intelligence." Oy. Don't even get me started on the inappropriate comments he made in class about Isreal and Hamas. If I were to write them down, your brain would cry.



I have another prof who teaches a course for which there is a dire necessity to use powerpoint/projector, blackboard... He mumbles, talks fast and we can't see a bloody thing on the very complicated and ephemeral slides (he's a bit clicker happy), so taking notes without a printout is impossible. You would have to have the arm of The Flash, the eyes of Superman, a pen from the BatBelt, and Stephen Hawking's brian in a jar to do so successfully. He posts the slides for us on his course website. Trouble is... he changes the bloody things an hour before the class. Sometimes minutes before the class he adds whole sections and topics, charts and diagrams, designs a whole new system! When we ask him to slow down because we are lost, he says, "What's the matter? You HAVE the slides!" We say, "not these ones."



A power struggle ensues over us wanting him to update the slides the night before so we can't print them out OR slow the f*ck down so that we can take notes. He is stubborn to Obsessive-compuslive standards. He can't slow down cause there isn't time (doensn't matter if we don't learn anything) and refuses to update on the night before because he has "time pressures."



Uh, dude? You've taught this class, like FIVE times already. This is the first time ANY of us have taken it. Pull yourself together, man!



Keep in mind, I'm just giving you the highlights, okay?